It's So Simple Really

Lately, we've been taking Elliot to Target to practice walking in her gait trainer because we do not have the room in our condo for her to move around much. It's great because there are so many things for her to look at while she walks around and there's so much space for her to move freely. Most of the time, we are ignored by the other customers. Once in a while, we get a smile or a curious stare.

The other day, Rob joined us on one of our Target therapy trips. He noticed a little girl, about 8-years-old, looking at Elliot. She said to her mom, "I'm scared to go by her. It's sad." Her mom, of course, was instantly upset. I heard her tell the girl, "You never, ever say something like that." Then, rather than lecture the girl or drag her away, the mom approached us. She stumbled for the right words as she asked what Elliot's condition was called. We gave her the brief synopsis about Arthrogryposis and explained to her that Target has so much more space for Elliot to move around in her walker. The mom smiled and told us how her daughters don't have much room to run around at their house as well. She said something about how cute Elliot is, and, they walked away.

I appreciate the simple effort that mom took to teach her daughter a lesson in that moment. By her actions, she showed her daughter that my daughter was not someone to be scared of. In that brief conversation, her daughter was able to see that we smiled when talking about Elliot. I hope she could see that we weren't sad.

I have had so many instances of children looking at Elliot and saying things like "That's so sad," "What's wrong with her?", "Why does she have to wear those?", "What are those things on her knees?" In many cases, I'm able to get to them first before their parents do and talk to them. I love talking to kids, and I'll answer any question they have, even if it sounds rude. If their parents are right there, though, they always stifle the kids' questions. They tell them to leave us alone, don't say things like that. They drag their kids away, sometimes apologizing on behalf of their children. They are effectively teaching their children that they should be scared to talk to us.

I don't want my daughter to grow up thinking people are scared of her. I want her to know it's okay to talk to people and answer their questions. Going to Children's Hospital LA all the time, I'm sure she'll have questions of her own one day. She already shares her therapy time with the post surgery kids in the big gym at the hospital. I want her to know that she doesn't need to be afraid of the other kids in the hospital just like I want other kids to know that they don't have to be afraid of her. And, her life is definitely not sad.